After all the regrets and sadness you should have left something good to remember, at least.

The thing is about selecting, deciding and doing the action that we prefer and justified to be right. Making a choice is not always as easy as pouring the water down to the glass, its include bunch of consideration, at least in my case. I do take quite some time to finally decide what to choose and yes it is wasting in some way. There goes a million thought in my mind, back and forth. Should I choose this or that, what if the result would not be as I expected, what if it is disappointing and so on and on. Yes, I am afraid somehow. Afraid of making mistake, afraid of being rejected and afraid of did not make any at the end. To be quitting from where I am today, yes I ever thought about it. Projecting myself as a kind of trash because I did not make as far as my friend did. The pressure was real. No one did it to me, but myself does. I mean, you are being intimidated by your own self. Getting worried about left behind and not be able to catch them, or the thing like they will make fun of you. Doubt and everything come in one. It punches me hard. The competition? it is real. How I deal with it? Well, I just did. Living every second like I need to pass this time, and what I remember is I'll come back home. I wasn't ready to call this place home yet. Up until now tho.