I Live Alone

I could have done this a million times.
A certain way of thinking that follows my life rhythm --it is okay to be alone.
I think this feeling grow gradually since I always had a situation where I think that people are sucks. The crowd may look fun for some cases but somehow I found myself wandering around and lost at the end. Lost in my own thought.

Took myself to walk alongside the river today. I didn't think much actually, just some random thought about this and that. Well, here are some thing that bothered me around this time. First, why I keep on arguing over the way people think of me. I've been live in Foshan for 1.5 month and nothing bother me more than this people around me doesn't look comfortable with my presence. I often ask myself like,  oh do I did something wrong? Few days ago I tried to console myself that hey you need clear this shit. Apparently, this stupid human is not doing what she should do. So it left like the old days.

Second, hey you aren't stay here to play around. The reason why I am here in Foshan are not to play or just travel. Why?  Because I don't get money. That is true. Well,  I came to study Mandarin. Why? No specific reasons. Just because I wanted to. Linguistic in general has attract me since I was kid. I love to speak in different languages. But, it's not like I am truly good at it. I mean,  even my English is not that good haha. I got this chance to study here. To finally live abroad. To finally surrounded by different people and environment. The thing that I really want to do since a long time ago. I don't want to waste it and regret it afterwards. At least I am finally here and do the things that I really want to do.

It haven't been that long tho. Not even two months yet. I always told myself to not focused on score and comparing your efforts to other people. The reason is simple, because we're basically different. One might give 100% effort but still fail while other only give 10% and passed. The idea of not comparing yourselves to other will keep you out the stress and toxic thought. Seriously, just don't.

At the end of the day I just want to enjoy this ride. The process of learning and growing at the same time. I feel better after write this thing down.